Love For Chris

I was about to erase our photos from the last day when I realized something. Kaye's jersey number was same as Chris'. Too bad, I was able to realize it when it was already the last day. Thank God we, Kaye and I, were able to take photos of ourselves having the same pose. With that, it didn't take me too long to edit my photo. :> Hihi. Yay! With that great idea, I was able to feel the number 12 being on my back, though I know it was fake. Hehe.

Random Thought: 2

Do you know why I’m still thankful? It’s because I may never have everything but at least, I NEVER had nothing.

FarmVille

Like what I promised few weeks ago, I will be renovating my farm during sembreak. Now, what's in front of your eyes is my newly renovated farm. :>

Strange

credits: Aimeelikestotakepics (deviantart)

I don't feel well today, not the literal way. I just don't feel any happiness at this moment. Something's keeping me disturbed this whole afternoon. I even can't concentrate on my Math notes. And, watching Titanic double jeopardized everything. :( Having a deep breath won't be enough, I guess. All I need is happiness. MUCH OF HAPPINESS.

I need sunshine and a concrete reason to be happy. I need colors-- really bright colors. I like to make art instead of going through my notes. I so need to dish this "sadness" out of my system as soon as possible. Like NOW! Please. I should fight against this feeling. It's not helping at all.

Sorry if I talk nonsense. Sorry if I sound random. Maybe, it just speaks for what I feel-- random and senseless. I just couldn't find a way to relieve this unidentified feeling, and I bet you wouldn't want to feel the same.

Hmm. I guess I have to go now. I shall entertain myself on Fb and eat comfort food. :)

Unwritten

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WANT US TO BE LIKE THIS?

WHY DO YOU WANT TO MAKE ME GET MAD AT YOU WHEN I DON'T EVEN WANT TO? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME DICTATE TO YOU EVERYTHING THAT YOU SHOULD DO? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SAY SORRY EVERYTIME? CAN YOU JUST NOT DO THOSE SHITTY THINGS AND MAKE EVERYTHING FALL INTO PLACE?

I ALWAYS FORGIVE YOU EVERYTIME! I GIVE YOU MORE THAN, I THINK, WHAT YOU DESERVE. I GIVE YOU WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU. FOR US. I GIVE YOU TIME FOR YOURSELF, FRIENDS AND OTHER PEOPLE WHO YOU HAVE BEEN CLOSE TO. I GIVE YOU EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU ASK FOR IT. I GIVE YOU ENOUGH SPACE TO ENJOY THE THINGS YOU LOVE MOST. BUT WHY DO YOU KEEP ON GIVING ME SOMETHING, I BELIEVE, I DON'T DESERVE? AM I NOT ENOUGH? NEVER ENOUGH THAT YOU COULD ALWAYS HURT EVERYTIME?


CAN YOU JUST GROW UP, CHILD?!

SORRY IF THIS MAY BE FOUL FOR YOU. I CANNOT FIND WORDS TO SOFTEN THE BLOW. SORRY.

Shaky Finals

A while ago was the first time that I have ever experienced feeling the earthquake. As far as I can remember, it was around almost 8am when it happened. Having written my essay for the RC finals, I felt like someone was shaking my chair. I suspected that it was Rodel, my blockmate, who usually does it when he just feels like. So, I looked at him and figured out that he wasn't there. I suddenly realized that he was actually late and wasn't able to take the exam. I looked at my professor and everyone started to rant that they were already feeling something unusual. Very unsual. Then my professor started to count the shakes. 0_0 She counted three (3) shakes before it finally stopped. If my estimation ability serves me well, the shake lasted for more or less 10 seconds. Oooh. For me it was sooooooo looooong. So long that I couldn't even explain exactly how it felt like.

I hope that was the last. It wasn't really a good joke.

NEVER A GOOD ONE.

Irritated

To a blockmate,

Can you just shut up and disappear?

The Future Calls For It

I talked to my future sister-in-law and she was telling me that they, she and my boyfriend's brother, are most likely to migrate mid next year. I was surprised because she was telling me before that they're gonna migrate after 5 more years. She told me that she was shocked as well. They'll already start reviewing for the IELTS exam, which is a requirement for migration, next week.

As I think of us doing the very same thing more or less 3 years after this year, something got over me, which I believe he wouldn't like. My dream is to actually be a Marketing Manager and has a part-time in hosting at GMA or in ABS-CBN shows at the same time. I would love to stay here in Pinas a bit longer before going to Australia. I still want to enroll at Fashion Institute of the Phils and take up Haute Couture while I am working. I still want to enroll at CCA Manila. I still want to save to buy my own car and drive myself wherever my job takes me. I still want to be free from anything I know could wait. I still want to enjoy life before I settle down.

I know he really wants to go to Australia as soon as possible. If I could only say that I want to stay here for a while and follow them after a year or two. I wish it is as simple as it seems but I know it would be very hard for the both of us. It may take us a lot of heart-to-heart conversions to come up with the best decision. I want him to be happy. I actually want us to be happy but my happiness will require quite sometime to be fulfilled. My dream may require a distance for it to come true. My passion may require us to sacrifice for a while for it to be fruitful. It may be hard for us but I don't want to end up saying "I could have been.. if.."s.

Yes, I know that I should cross bridge when I get there but I should start weighing things now before that time comes. I don't want to regret anything. I want to make my decision right and fair.

Now, all I have to do is to continue praying for me to end up with the best solution and I hope I will be able to fulfill my dreams before settling down.




Originally typed in Notepad. Dated 12 October 2009

Globe Immortal

Hm. I just knew that this promo is until October 30, 2009 only. Okay, I thought this promo was immortal, too. Too bad, it wasn't. With this promo, I was able to consume my PhP400 load for 2 months which I usually consume for only a month.

Hay. I won't be able to save enough money for Christmas anymore. I was actually planning to give gifts to the ones who are close to me but it seems that I wouldn't be able to do that. Of course, I have to cut cost because I have to save money for my well-dreamt summer activity, which is the broadcasting workshop at either ABS-CBN or GMA. Yea, I know, it's huge but that's what I really want.

I already told my mom to not give me a Christmas present anymore. I asked her to save it for summer. But, she asked me what if we'll go out of the country that time? How am I gonna persue that? Can't I have both the travel and the workshop in summer? It would be much better, mom.

Whew

I thought I was going to take my NSTP finals today without having read anything. I wasn't able to go through with it when it was available because I was really, really busy with my term paper. The modules were opened this week but I guess I wasn't really lucky to get an access of it. I tried to open my e-leap account at the library but it wasn't available on my computer. I tried to open my account using the computer beside me, since it wasn't occupied yet, but I failed again. I tried to change computers but I wasn't able to access. Maybe I wasn't meant for it until Joyce posted it on Facebook. I downloaded it right after I saw it and reviewed it. Thank God I was online last night. Also, I thank Joyce so much for uploading it.

Okay, I have to say bye for now. I have to prepare for school. My exam is at 10am and it's almost 8am so I really have to start preparing myself.

Today's Share

Don’t forget that you deserve love, and nothing less. Never anything less.

Exactly.

This wasn't what I aimed for

It feels bad when you try your best to help someone to solve his problem but eventually will end up double jeopardizing the situation.

My friend's ex-girlfriend suspects us to be flirting with each other when WE ARE NOT! Her jealousy is nowhere in place now. She's just making it worse. I was just trying to help but she got me wrong. I don't even know where to position myself now.

Too bad. :(